LET me go back to writing and elucidating transgender issues that need to be exposed so people will understand us more and spare us from further vilification based on ignorance.
When the death of Jennifer hit the news, besides the nature of her passing, what saddened me were the bile thoughts that filled the comment sections. Even gay men and transgender women were justifying her sad fate by blaming and criticizing her cheating. Malandi raw kasi! Nangangaliwa kahit mayroon ng dyowa! Makati pa sa laing Bikol! Those statements bothered me because I could understand why the likes of Jennifer would go out with unknowing heterosexual men and cheat on their partners, who have accepted them and their unique bodies still untouched by scalpel.
Some pre-operative transsexuals have this sexual fantasy in which they want to be with heterosexual men who do not know their pre-operative transsexual status. Let’s call it “straight man fantasy”. Yes, it’s adventurous, but dangerous too. When desire is too strong, the saying “hahamakin ang lahat masusunod ka lamang” happens. It’s a gamble where the bet is life and the prize is validated self and ego, besides sexual and emotional orgasm.
Such transsexuals use their flings and quickies with heterosexual men to validate their feminine selves and gauge their abilities to pass as women, soften their male voices, and conceal their masculine anatomies. “Wa buking” is a phrase used to describe their success when their straight sexual fantasy is consummated without any problem.
Why do they cheat when they already have partners? This is the thing with some pre-operative transsexuals that people should know: they don’t want to be sexually active using their male sex organs. To them, letting their partners give them blowjobs or sit on their laps is a no-no. It causes them grief, cognitive dissonance, and low self-esteem. There’s a reason for that. They see themselves as women, but their partners sexually treat them as men with saline or silicone breasts, long hair, soft skin, and painted nails.
Even when they have partners, some transsexual women are not happy because they bear and suffer that internal conflict just to have relationships. Men who sexually desire pre-operative transsexuals are, generally, transsexual lovers or in the US, tranny chasers. Most of them love transsexuals because they are pretty, feminine, soft-skinned and have breasts and penises. If you have those for partners and you consider yourselves as women, of course, you will seek the company of heterosexual men who know nothing about your real selves and won’t touch your male sexual organs.
Was Jennifer one of those pre-operative transsexuals I mentioned above? Did she act out her straight sexual fantasy? Understand her, and maybe you’ll stop judging and chastising pre-operative transsexuals like her who are in relationships and still seek other men to validate their femininity and womanhood.
Usually, I let ignorant people vilify me, but before they do that I educate them.
This article was first published in July.